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Nov
13

Why Most PWS Give Up So Early and Fail?… And What To Do About It!

By

Shhh, I have a secret question for you…

How many times have you gone through stuttering treatments, you see some improvements in your speech but you gave up… because, for some reason, the techniques stopped working for you!?

Let me guess…

Most probably, at least one time!

If you are like me; at least 47 times 🙂

So, WHY is this happening to almost all PWS(people who stutter)?

You probably are not going to like my answer…

The reason is YOU!

… but it is NOT your fault!

I’ll tell you WHY and WHAT TO DO about it in a second, but first let me ask you a question…

Why most of us give up so early?

The answer is…

Mostly lack!..lack of motivation, lack of hope, lack of desire, lack of belief, lack of confidence.

But, we all have to know that if we want to overcome stuttering;
we need to turn our “lack” into “luck”… a “luck” which YOU CREATE for YOURSELF.
Click here to tweet this!

Lets get back to my previous comment, where I “blame” us for the core reason why we gave up and quit so early.

I said the reason is you. Yes, the reason is you(or me or any other PWS trying to improve his/her speech), because you are the one who give up when you are on the right track getting one step closer to succeed.

Whose decision is that? Of course, our decision. We just lose hope, give up and quit.

But it is NOT your fault, because your expectations were set WRONG and you were programmed to fail by some of those stuttering treatment programs, courses,etc. They communicated with you in an “unethical marketer” way. They said what you wanted to hear.

  • You want instant results? Sureeee, get this magic blue pill!
  • You want to learn a technique which will stop your stuttering in a couple hours? Sureeee, this miracle technique will do it for you!
  • You want to start speaking fluently right away and never look back ever again? Sureeee, once you give us your money(refer: a fortune), you’ll forget your past including the fact that you are a PWS!

Nope, that is NOT the reality…and that’s exactly WHY most PWS give up and quit so early.

Because, they are manipulated into a totally wrong mindset with damn wrong expectations and an absurd belief system.

Of course not all treatment alternatives are like this, but almost all of them promises an irreversible change. But in reality, you will experience ups and downs until you reach your goal.

Overcoming stuttering is not an overnight “fix”, it is a PROCESS! A process which you’ll gradually improve day by day, but with ups and downs in this exciting journey.

Overcoming stuttering is not a quick fix. But it is not an impossible goal either!..unless you are trying to overcome it the wrong way!

If you are familiar with Stuttering Dissolution Multimedia Package then you exactly know what I am talking about.

In fact, I am a strong believer that any PWS can improve his/her speech to a great level where stuttering would not be an obstacle on his/her way in life…so he/she can live a fully expressive, confident and successful life.

So, hopefully, now you know that you need to treat this as a process with the right expectations.

Also, you probably already know that you should not give up early, because there are ups and downs in this exciting journey and as long as you are on the right track you’ll gradually achieve your speaking goals.

I hear you saying;

“OK, it’s easier said than done. How am I going to keep up with it when I see nothing is going like it should?”

The challenge which I see a lot here is the MOTIVATION!

People can’t motivate themselves. They tend to go through a stuttering treatment and give up on the first pitfall.

Let’s face it…

If you can’t motivate yourself, you’ll give up and quit sooner or later… and if you do quit, there is not even a single chance to achieve your speaking goals in life. None! Not even with the best programs out there, not even with the highest paid speech therapist.

On the other hand, if you can manage to motivate yourself and you keep taking the right steps by understanding that there are ups and downs in this exciting journey, there is a HUGE CHANCE that you’ll gradually improve your speech and achieve the speaking goals you set for yourself.

So, now the question is…

What can you do to motivate yourself?

Let me give you 3 tips on how to motivate yourself and what you need to do so you don’t give up on the first pitfall.

Tip-1: Overcoming stuttering is not an on/off switch, it’s a process which you improve your speech gradually, so you need to realize there will be ups and downs in this process.

From hundreds of success stories I’ve been a part of, there is this one simple fact…

In the process, you’ll have ups and downs for sure, this applies to every single case. However, downs are not really “downs”, you’re still better than where you started off and even those downs means you are improving!

…and if you use the right techniques and follow the right strategies, there is one outcome at the end of this process…a NEW YOU which went from “lack” to “luck”; a “luck” which is designed and created by YOU!

Tip-2: Don’t try to overcome and stop stuttering because of others, do it for yourself and never ever seek approval from other people.

Don’t try to overcome stuttering to show off your speech therapist or your coach that you can do it. That’s the reason why most people can perform better when there is a higher status person (like a speech therapist) around them.

Once they are alone, there is no enough motivation to face everyday challenging speaking situations.

Tip-3: Set yourself small goals and reward yourself as soon as you achieve those small goals.

Take this one step at a time.

Don’t set a goal such as “I’ll give a presentation with no blocks whatsoever and then I’ll reward myself”.

Instead say “I’ll resist time pressure and I’ll give a 2 second pause before ordering my coffee
…and REWARD that behavior when you gave that pause.

Don’t tie your success to fluency only! Never!

Finally, let me give you an exercise so you can start working on this mentality shift and be able to motivate yourself in the process of overcoming stuttering.

Set goals which you can’t fail!

As I said, don’t set your goals in terms of fluency, your outcome should NOT be tied to fluency in the initial stages.

Let me give you an example.

Lets say you are going to order food at McDonalds…

Set yourself a goal that if you stumble on a word and stutter while ordering your food, you’ll not get upset, you’ll stay strong and you’ll smile right away… and you’ll keep that happy face until you grap your food.

This is a goal which is not tied to your “fluency performance” and can be achieved easily.

Of course, these goals will get more challenging and you can start to tie your goals to your fluency level in time, but not at the first stages of your “overcoming stuttering” process.

That would set you for disappointment even before you start to face this challenge of us called “stuttering and how to overcome it”.

If you take those 3 tips and this one simple exercise I shared with you on here, you’ll have a much better chance to motivate yourself and not give up on the first pitfall.

Hope this was helpful…and if it was, please like, share and comment so we can spread the message to all PWS all around the world.

I’ll create a video for this post and add it on here if you tell me what you’d like to see in the video by commenting below.

Thanks for doing this for me and I’ll see you very soon again.

Keep it strong and stay motivated!

Your friend,

Chazzler

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2 Comments

1

Very good points above Chazzer. A useful tool for the motivation process is evaluations, ie asking questions. A question I used to ask folks I was coaching was. “Fluency, so what ?” Ok, so you are fluent now, what are you going to do with it. Get a better job, a girlfriend / boyfriend, be able to read your children a bedtime story, become a teacher, whatever it is, and then this is the KEY, ask yourself another question…. “How will that make you feel ?” Motivation ans specifically Self motivation is the glue that holds your recovery in place, and as Tony Robbins says … “If you ask a better quality question, you get a better quality answer. The only I don’t like about what you have written is the term PWS, the way you label yourself is vital if you call yourself a Person Who Stutters this is a self fulfilling proficy and will just perpetuate stuttering ….. If you must use a label, use PWSS. Person who sometimes stutters. King regards. Si

2

Thanks for the valuable insights, Simon. I agree on the importance of asking the right questions.

Regarding to “calling ourselves PWS”;
My opinions are a bit different on that. I think accepting a fact is totally fine as long as we dont let stuttering to DEFINE who we are. Because, it’s what we do, not who we are. I’m familiar with NLP and I totally understand your point though. However, if you are overweight, it’s ok to say “I’m overweight and I need to do something to lose some of that”. What is harmful would be “I’m a fat person and that is who I really am” kind of mindset.

This is deep stuff and there is no way to express it on here in a couple sentence but hope I was able to explain my point of view. Thanks for your comment again.

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